Should I Stay or Should I Go?

Maria, a 19-year-old sophomore and the first in her family to attend college, feels overwhelmed by academic pressure, financial strain, and uncertainty about her future. She’s considering dropping out or taking a year off to work and explore career options but fears disappointing her family, especially her proud mom. Though she’s seen others online benefit from taking time off, Maria worries about never returning to school or falling behind her peers. Caught between staying in school and risking burnout or taking a break and facing uncertainty, Maria feels torn about her next step. Should she stay in college or take a year off?

Maria has always been an achiever. She excelled in high school, securing good grades, participating in various extracurricular activities, and managing a part-time job to help her family. When she got accepted into a mid-tier university with a partial scholarship, her parents were thrilled—especially her mom, who never had the opportunity to attend college herself. Maria is the first in her family to make it this far, and everyone in her community back home is rooting for her.

But now, midway through her second year, Maria feels completely overwhelmed. She is taking a full course load, working 15 hours a week to pay rent, and constantly feels behind in her classes. Her friends seem to know exactly what they’re doing, declaring majors in fields they’re passionate about, while Maria can’t seem to find her direction. On top of this, her mental health has taken a dive—she feels isolated, anxious, and unmotivated.

Recently, Maria began considering dropping out or at least taking a year off to figure things out. She’s worried that she’s wasting time and money when she’s not even sure what career path she wants. She states:

“I feel like I need a year off to figure out everything. I feel miserable. I feel like I'm just counting down the days until I get home. I don't feel ready. I don't feel confident enough. I feel too depressed. Not only that, but I feel like I'm wasting my time. I feel like things would be much smoother and more setup next year. I don’t even know if I want to go back. I feel so lost, even if I enjoy my classes, I just don't know if I’m ready for everything yet…”

She’s read stories online about others who have taken time off and found new passions. One person shared how a year off helped them discover their love for programming through a coding bootcamp, which led to a well-paying job. Maria wonders if she could use the time off to work full-time, save money, and explore different career options.

However, the thought of dropping out feels like letting everyone down, especially her parents. They’ve sacrificed so much to help her get here. Maria knows how proud her mom is every time she talks to their neighbors about “my daughter, the college student.” The pressure to not disappoint them weighs heavily on her.

Maria is also worried about the future. What if she takes a year off and never goes back? She’s heard that once you leave, it can be difficult to return. Would a gap year set her back, making her feel even more out of sync with her peers? And if she does go back, will she still feel lost?

As Maria sits in her dorm room, staring at her class schedule, she feels torn. Should she stay in college and push through, hoping that things will get better with time, or should she take a break, risking judgment from her family but potentially finding the clarity she’s been longing for?

Should Maria drop out and take a year off, or stay and continue trying to figure out her path? What would you do in her situation, and why?