Luis, a 16-year-old first-generation immigrant, is under immense pressure from his parents, who sacrificed everything for him to succeed in the U.S. They expect him to excel in school, maintain straight A's, and be a role model for his siblings, while also juggling varsity soccer and a part-time job to help with family expenses. When he gets a D on a history exam, his parents are disappointed, grounding him and reminding him of their sacrifices. Luis is exhausted, anxious, and struggling to balance everything, feeling torn between meeting his parents' high expectations and protecting his own mental health. Should he continue pushing himself to meet their standards, or confront them about how overwhelmed he feels, risking their disappointment?
Luis, a 16-year-old junior in high school, is the first in his family to be born in the United States. His parents immigrated from Mexico before he was born, working long hours in tough jobs to provide him with opportunities they never had. From as early as he can remember, they’ve emphasized the importance of education. They want him to go to college, get a good job, and build a better life. “We came here so you wouldn’t have to struggle like we did,” his father often says. Luis understands this and wants to make them proud, but the pressure is becoming unbearable.
Luis is taking advanced classes, plays varsity soccer, and works part-time at a grocery store to help his family with expenses. His parents expect him to maintain straight A’s and be a role model for his younger siblings, but he’s struggling. His recent history exam came back with a D, and his parents were deeply disappointed. They grounded him, took away his phone, and lectured him about wasting his potential. “We didn’t come to this country for you to fail,” his mother told him. The words stung deeply. Luis says,
“My mom goes on and on about how other people have been spending hours on end finishing their homework for a certain class, and how I had the audacity to be efficient and finish my homework quickly and thoroughly. I don't struggle as much as other students so I don't need to spend so much time on my homework usually. She tries and find reasons to be mad at me; she'll point out how a certain test grade (which weighs next to nothing on the overall grade) is lower than it should be and even tried to use my English teacher's weird grading system against me (when I had an A in that class).”
Luis knows his parents have sacrificed so much, but he feels like they don’t understand the pressure he’s under. Balancing school, soccer, and his job leaves him exhausted. He tries to study late at night after his shifts, but his grades are slipping, and he’s afraid he won’t get into the colleges they expect. The stress is starting to take a toll on his mental health—he’s anxious, barely sleeps, and feels like he’s constantly letting everyone down.
One evening, while talking to his best friend, Luis confides, “It’s like I’m trapped. My parents want me to be perfect, but I’m barely holding on. I get why they push me so hard, but I don’t know if I can keep up.”
Now, Luis faces a dilemma. Should he keep pushing himself to meet his parents' expectations, even if it’s harming his well-being and making him resent the pressure? Or should he try to explain to them how overwhelmed he feels, risking their disappointment and possibly their trust in him?
This dilemma was inspired by the following sources:
https://www.reddit.com/r/teenagers/comments/4c5xss/anyone_else_feel_like_their_parents_expect_too/
https://www.reddit.com/r/teenagers/comments/z6owvb/my_parents_ground_me_for_cs/
https://www.reddit.com/r/teenagers/comments/oxvg60/why_do_immigrant_parents_always_feel_the_need_to/
https://www.reddit.com/r/teenagers/comments/p3jfxf/there_is_always_an_asian_better_than_you_asians/