Acting Out

Rob is a seventeen-year-old high school actor. Rob’s father is very opposed to Rob’s interest in theater, and several years ago tried to redirect him toward activities that are more conventional for boys in their town. A year ago, Rob’s father told him that he could no longer be involved in theater at all. For six months, Rob avoided all theater activities, and sank into a deep depression. Finally, he ended this hiatus (against his father’s wishes), and was cast in a high school production. Despite his father’s opposition, Rob has sustained his passion for theater, and has decided to major in musical theater at a conservatory program.

Rob is a seventeen-year-old interested in pursuing a career in theater. He played his first role in second grade because acting was a cool thing to do at his school. He liked being in front of the audience and has continued to be involved in theater activities, though he points out that in high school, “it’s definitely not the cool thing to do anymore.” In fact, “if you do anything artsy, you are either ignored completely or any attention you receive is completely negative.” Although his peers generate much of the negative reaction to theater, he says the entire town seems to look down on theater. Students’ sports teams and other extracurricular activities are publicly funded, but the high school drama club receives no financial support. The fact that the drama club has to raise its own money makes acting even more enjoyable for Rob, because, as he explains it, he knows that “everything on the show is done by everyone on the show. It isn’t just handed to us.” 

Rob is drawn to theater because of the audience, “You feel like you are doing something good for them, too, because they are getting the entertainment.” He also values the way acting allows him to step outside of his own life and become someone else for a while. He is passionate about theater:

“I need to perform because that is just what I do and who I am. My goal is to become a performer so I don’t have to do anything else. If I am not performing and I can’t perform, a huge part of me is taken away. It’s in my blood to go up onstage and do what I can to entertain an audience. It is like eating or sleeping or something. It is part of my existence.”

Several years ago, Rob’s father tried to redirect him toward activities that were more conventional for boys in their town. His father is very strict and, according to Rob, “It is his way or no way.” During Rob’s first year of high school, his father forced him to attend a vocational school specifically because it had no theater program. His father is “really into image.” In their town, “the proper image to have is that you go to work from nine to five, you come home, and everyone’s a happy family. Your sons play football or hockey, and your daughter sings and takes dance.” Rob does not want to play football or hockey, and his father deplores his lack of conformity. Likewise, Rob’s stepmother tells him that theater is a waste of time. Though Rob was briefly allowed to be involved with a community theater, Rob’s father told him a year ago that he could no longer be involved with theater at all. For six months, Rob avoided all theater activities, sinking into a “deep depression.” Finally he ended this hiatus (against his father’s wishes) and was cast in a high school production. When his father again forbade him to participate, Rob moved out of his father’s house and moved in with his mother. 

Interestingly, Rob’s father had himself been seriously involved in theater for many years, and had even performed in one professional show. Rob does not know why his father stopped acting, but speculates that “he was just worried that he wasn’t going to be able to make it.” His grandmother, he says, believed that his father discourages Rob out of jealousy, “My grandmother said the reason he didn’t want me to go into theater as a career is because I had the ambition he didn’t have to do it.” 

Rob is able to sustain his passion for theater in spite of the obstacles his family and community present. He feels a responsibility to this passion, which means sacrificing his responsibilities (and sometimes his relationships) to others—in this case, to his father and stepmother. We can only speculate as to why Rob’s father is so set against his son’s involvement in theater, and as to whether this opposition helps to solidify Rob’s commitment to theater. Despite many obstacles, Rob has decided to major in musical theater at a conservatory program.

How did Rob balance his commitment to his family and to his values? Have you ever felt pressure to change your passion or interests from your friends or family?